CAPTAIN THERIN'S MOMENT OF TERROR!
Our intrepid Playtrek reporter,
Ian McLean, speaks exclusively
to Therin of Andor, captain of
the USS Hood.
Playtrek: Captain Therin, what was your reaction to the decisions
reached at the recent Special Session at Starfleet Headquarters?
Therin: I was thrilled with the outcome, of course. Admiral - I
mean Captain - Kirk is a fine officer. And I was pleasantly
surprised to see Spock looking so well after his recent... er, death.
Playtrek: I understand you were actually present for the
proceedings against Kirk and his crew?
Therin: Yes I was. The USS Hood had been called upon to ferry
Ambassador Sarek from Vulcan - a very important "reinforcement"
when the Klingon peace talks began to sour. Then the giant probe
arrived, neutralising all power to Earth, Spacedock, the Excelsior -
and the Hood with it!
Playtrek: Kirk used time travel to solve the problem created by the
probe. Tell us, have you ever been involved with time travel?
Therin: I have experienced my share. It's a very serious thing in
which to dabble, you know.
Playtrek: What is your favourite time travel anecdote?
Therin: Well, yes I do have one, but it's not for publication.
Starfleet would have my exoskeleton if they found out.
Playtrek: Oh, have no fear! Playtrek Gazette has been a pillar of
the publishing community for several centuries. We would never
stoop to the depths of the gutter press.
Therin: I see... We'll it all began the day I left the conn in the
hands - or trotters - of Commander Grol, our Tellarite morale officer.
I had only stepped out for a minute or two - to attend to some
personal activities in the little room off the bridge. It seems that
Grol took the opportunity of my absence to take the Hood on a little
Playtrek: Around the nearest sun?
Therin: Precisely. I entered the head in the 23rd century and
emerged in the 1930s. Of course, by the time I realised what had
happened, Grol had beamed down to sample the alcoholic delights of
20th century Earth. Using my tricorder to pinpoint Grol's location, I
beamed down to his coordinates. In the meantime, he had vanished
into the night. Luckily, because of the darkness, there were few
passersby to notice my less-than-Terran complexion.
Playtrek: What about your antennae?
Therin: I wore two woollen beanies; I was quite inconspicuous.
When I finally caught up with Grol, he had "borrowed" an old
I climbed in and ordered him to drive back to the beam-down point,
but since neither of us were experienced truck drivers, we were soon
out of control and speeding through the mission district. We fought
over the wheel for two blocks, finally coming to a halt when a hapless
woman pedestrian stepped out in front of us. Alas it was too late for
Playtrek: How terrible.
Therin: As we fled, I overheard one poor eyewitness trying to tell
a policeman what she had seen.
"But Officer," she was saying, "I saw it with my own eyes. The
truck was being driven by a blue man... and a pig!"
Another Playtrek "How-to" special:
"Blackmail: Fund-raising Made Easy", or, "Was That a Pig I Saw at Your Swiss Bank Account?"
Page originally uploaded August 1998